This Author is left to wonder if she ought to have shared an easy-to-use ovulation calendar with London’s many marriage-minded misses?

Dearest Reader,

Of all the scandalous secrets this author has shared with you — the shocking secret of Miss Marina Thompson’s sham engagement to Colin Bridgerton, the sordid secret of Lord Berbooke’s love child, the shameful, DELICIOUS secret of the Featheringtons’ fall from grace — it would appear that I…

SATIRE

“Somebody order a pizza — with extra sausage?” “JUST LEAVE IT BY THE DOOR!”

Pizza Delivery

DELIVERY BOY: Did somebody order a pizza — with extra sausage?

WOMAN: (Calling through door) JUST LEAVE IT BY THE DOOR, PLEASE!

She opens door, retrieves pizza, places pizza on floor, stares at hands, washes hands, Clorox-wipes entire pizza box, washes hands again.

WOMAN: Hey, Siri… how do you wash…

Tonight, tonight, will be just like last night …

Tonight (WEST SIDE STORY)

Tonight, tonight
Will be just like last night
We’ll cook some soup and panic-watch the news

Tonight, tonight
We’ll probably start to fight
And you’ll say “We need to get more booze”

Today, you’ve asked me 17 times
What kind of wine I ordered.
I TOLD YOU I GOT WHITE!

Dan Ryan

Humor in @littleoldlady__, @PointsinCase, @WeeklyHumorist, @RobotButt, @Slackjaw.

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