Of all the scandalous secrets this author has shared with you — the shocking secret of Miss Marina Thompson’s sham engagement to Colin Bridgerton, the sordid secret of Lord Berbooke’s love child, the shameful, DELICIOUS secret of the Featheringtons’ fall from grace — it would appear that I…
DELIVERY BOY: Did somebody order a pizza — with extra sausage?
WOMAN: (Calling through door) JUST LEAVE IT BY THE DOOR, PLEASE!
She opens door, retrieves pizza, places pizza on floor, stares at hands, washes hands, Clorox-wipes entire pizza box, washes hands again.
WOMAN: Hey, Siri… how do you wash…
Will be just like last night
We’ll cook some soup and panic-watch the news
We’ll probably start to fight
And you’ll say “We need to get more booze”
Today, you’ve asked me 17 times
What kind of wine I ordered.
I TOLD YOU I GOT WHITE!